Business owners often recognise the value of networking especially given that 83% of people do business with people they like and trust. Yet the challenge for high impact and effective networking is to ensure that you stand out from the crowd. The quickest way to do this is to release your natural flow of charisma so people are naturally compelled towards you.
Having devoted over two decades to studying charisma I appreciate that there are many misconceptions about what it is and what it isn’t. Charisma naturally flows within all of us when we are being absolutely ourselves and love what we are doing. You don’t need to be a confident extrovert with a big personality to be charismatic. Charisma is an authentic power that captivates the hearts and minds of others. Here are my top tips for charismatic networking:
1. Operate in the NOW. When I observe people during networking events there are those that strut their stuff with an air of confidence yet during conversations you don’t feel they are really interested in you. It’s as if they are waiting for you to finish so they can either jump right in and impress the hell out of you or ditch you for the next potential catch. According to Nancy Kline, author of The Thinking Organisation “the quality of our listening, determines how intelligently the person responds to you’. Charismatic people are able to connect deeply with others in just a few seconds and are genuinely interested in what the other person is saying.
TOP TIP: Imagine that everyone in the room has an interesting insight for you to learn. When you look at them really see them and focus your concentration on them.
2. Speak from your heart. The world of business has drummed into us that we need to assert ourselves, think logically and trust only the facts and the evidence presented to us. The ability to inspire and ignite interest requires high levels of energy. People who are in touch with their emotions generate a strong electro-magnetic force field around them that is unconsciously ‘felt’ by others. People who disassociate from their emotions also disconnect interest. There is a wonderful piece of prose called The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer that starts with the line; ‘It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing’
TOP TIP: Speak from your heart, be real and recognise that you and the other person are both wonderfully unique people with an abundance of wisdom. Tap into their wisdom by saying what you really feel rather than engaging in superficial chit-chat.
3. Generate balanced energy for communication flow. At the tiniest, subatomic level, in the Quantum Field we are all pulsating atoms of energy, constantly interacting with the energy fields of those around us. In 1997, Cranfield University produced a thought-provoking report proving the impact of energy on performance and contribution. People with low energy are tired, depressed, stressed, angry or ill. In contrast, people with high energy levels are positive, creative, confident, healthy and in-balance. People with high energy are more attractive than people with low energy. Energy is addictive. We naturally crave it to make us feel better and unconsciously seek to steal it from others in 4 main ways:
1. Intimidation – people like to hold the balance of power because the hold the balance of energy.
2. Interrogation – when people fire many questions it is a form of energetic attack that will drain the energy of the person they are speaking with.
3. Aloof – when people disassociate they erect an invisible wall around themselves that stops the flow of their energy towards others. 4. Poor Me – being a victim will often trigger the concern of others causing energy to flow one-way towards the victim.
TOP TIP: Balance your conversation so that your energies flow between you and the other person. If you start to feel drained, take control of the conversation until your energy builds again. If the person you are talking to looks drained, encourage them to talk.
People never cease to amaze me. When we feel safe and secure we allow our protective barriers to fall away and open up to the experience in front of us. People who can create this feeling of safety in others are utilising their natural charisma, a state where everything becomes effortless and others are irresistibly drawn towards. Charisma is like a transcendental power that resides within us all. We don’t need to learn any fancy postures or gestures we simply need to re-connect with the essence of our true self. In a moment we can suddenly light up like a Christmas Tree!



