Weeding Your Garden of Life to Grow Your Charisma
One of my favourite books from my childhood is The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett – I have a first edition that was given to me by my grandmother whom I adored. I loved reading about the sour-faced ten year old girl, Mary Lennox who found a secret and neglected garden that she nurtured back to its full glory. Imagine a neglected garden for a moment. A place full of overgrown weeds that are strangling the life out of beautiful plants that may be completely hidden from view. If the soil has not been turned it cannot create the right conditions for growth. Before you call in the landscape gardener, aren’t you curious about discovering what beauty is growing underneath the weeds? I see people with their own internal landscapes that have become overgrown with the trauma of simply living their lives. Their gardens don’t need anything except nurturing and a bit of targeted weeding. Sometimes the lack of light in the dark recesses of the mind cast menacing shadows that makes it difficult to see the path we are wanting to follow and we feel lost, isolated and confused.
Weeding stimulates growth
I believe that we are all born exquisitely perfect, full of a natural state of joy. We are meant to be happy. We are born with an abundance of charisma – just think about how much attention a tiny baby attracts. Instinctively you know this. Have you ever experienced a feeling of euphoria at the sheer sensation of being alive? This feeling of bliss is our birthright, it is a natural state that is within us all. Yet we become increasingly disconnected from this ability to access this state of joy because of the hurts and tough experiences that build protective walls that effectively block off this sublime state. I believe that the quickest way to empower people to transform their mindset from survival to growth is to help them ‘weed the garden of their life’ because they have an abundance of beautiful flowers and stunning plants within their potential. We don’t need to add in anything extra, we have all the resources we need inside to feel happy, calm and in balance.
Fight or Flight response
According to cellular biologist Dr Bruce Lipton, the self esteem, values and beliefs from our parents (or the people who brought us up) have been installed within us by the time we are 6 years old. These may support, empower or sabotage our thinking and behaviour as adults. Part of our evolution comes from experiencing challenges, obstacles, difficulties and traumas. The healthy way to deal with these ‘difficulties’ is the often referred to fight or flight response – intended to help you survive a dangerous situation by preparing you to either run for your life or fight for your life. Fear – and the fight-or-flight response in particular – is an instinct that every animal possesses. Animals will ‘shake’ after a trauma. Gazelles in the Serengeti will have numerous life and death chases as predators are continually hungry and on the prowl for food. After a frantic chase, Gazelles will shake uncontrollably because this is their natural way of shaking off stress and trauma. What about people? Unfortunately, most of us have lost this natural instinct to ‘shake off‘ our fears and traumas. Many of us ‘freeze’ and bury our responses along with all the associated negative emotions and limiting beliefs. According to traditional Chinese medicine, we have 20 meridians – these are like pathways, that channel life energy known as Qi to every organ in our body. Each buried emotional issue causes a blockage within our meridian system and starts to build a volcano of stored negativity. This creates an imbalance within our body that weakens our immune system and starts a pattern of self-sabotaging actions. Holding onto these issues becomes exhausting. Imagine trying to hold a beach ball full of air under water for any length of time. The drain on your physical strength and energy will cause you to experience emotional outbursts as you ‘release the ball’.
The unconscious mind holds so much more information compared to the conscious mind. Sir Francis Bacon, 1597 first referred to knowledge as a power and implied that gaining and sharing knowledge increases an individual’s potential and their abilities in life. So why aren’t contemporary business leaders actively encouraging employees to trust their instincts and listen to the wise whispers of knowledge that stream from the unconscious mind? The beliefs/values from your unconscious mind are not restricted by any filters processed by your conscious mind and the prime directive from your unconscious mind is to protect you and keep you safe. A memory is only ‘real’ inside a person’s mind. If you change aspects of a memory, you change how you feel about that memory – even if consciously you still remember what really happened.