During my travels I speak often about our Emotional Guidance System and the importance of trusting our vibes. I genuinely believe that our unconscious mind has so much more wisdom than what we contain within our conscious awareness. This means that when things are not going that well for you and your emotions feel more negative rather than positively orientated you are receiving signals that you are out of alignment with your true self.
This year I noticed that the whispers from my unconscious mind started shouting at me. A month ago my whole world – the world that had become so familiar to me began to shake and collapse. Cracks in my relationship appeared and as the reality of separating became stronger a cold hand of fear clutched my stomach and heart causing anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Not great states when my job is showing others how to feel better about their lives! I recognise that the man who I see as my soulmate was living in an environment that did not enable him to thrive. Whilst we love each other with all our hearts we were draining each other’s energy and both of us felt a sense of being in a survival state. This wonderful man is loyal, genuine, sensitive, deeply kind and has a real connection with nature. He sees kingfishers every time he looks out onto the river from the deck of our house. When he walks our little Yorkshire Terrier – Mindy – he regularly connects with a white squirrel. He is the first one to point to the abundance of bluebells in the woods and nurtures our plants with the tenderest patience. As my own energy has increased in direct proportion to the glorious career I have seen expanding quickly in the last two years, my partner lost touch with who he really is at his core. We both see this, we both understand this and we both know that the best way to handle this personal crisis is to separate. How can you be true to another if you are betraying your own soul? However this awareness does not take away the fear and I have found myself waking up in the small hours of the morning, shaking. I can’t eat ( I quite like this side effect though!) and I’m struggling to concentrate. My lesson is to accept what I’m feeling, and I really do appreciate that we are both honouring the importance of being true to ourselves. ( this is much harder to actually do than to say). As Easter approaches, so does the knowledge that he will soon be gone from our home, gone from our bed and gone from the intimacy we have shared together for eight years. I am preparing myself for floods of emotion even though I know that I am strong and will survive this ending. I want for him what I want for everyone, including myself – the ability to live life his way and loving and accepting that he is perfect just as he is.
When people enter phases of operating in survival there is a sense of being shut down that effects us at a cellular level. Fear based chemicals such as cortisol, adrenalin and norepinephrine cause cells to seal and create a vacuum within that cell. This protects the cell initially but it also creates damage if this protection based operating system remains in place for too long. As people this cellular response causes us to crave safety and security and as an employee regardless of our job role our performance at work diminishes. We become a silo – blocking off our connection to others. This survival or growth cycle is part of life yet I’m not convinced that organisations are fully aware of the frequency employees experience survival phases. Over the years we have seen a growing emphasis on employee well being programmes designed to support people at a holistic level. One of the most powerful tools available today for helping those in survival is Emotional Freedom Techniques – it’s like acupuncture without the needles. You gently tap on certain parts of the body and as the person tunes into the negative emotion they are holding in their system, they experience an intense build of that emotion before it is released. It really is an extraordinary therapy and I have been using it in my one-to-one sessions for years. Even though it is simple, effective and easy to use, some organisations refuse to even evaluate it and see the workplace as ‘not an appropriate context’. Other organisations on the other hand are continually looking for new innovative ways to support individuals in a way that is respectful, impactful and sustainable over a longer term. I am working with those brave organisations and together we are achieving some powerful transformations as people transcend their deepest fears and begin to trust that they have all the resources they need inside to create what they want in their life.
So maybe I should choose to pay attention to what I help others to do. Maybe it’s time to take a deep breath and let go of my fear and trust that everything we go through in our life is part of our journey, part of the adventure of simply living. Sometimes the adventure of life gets a little too much and those sensitive souls surrender their dreams in search of a calmer, safer and more peaceful place. I do believe that the world we live in has a magical quality that supports us with an infinite source of universal flow. If we open our hearts with honesty and listen to how we truly feel then we enable ourselves to get back into balance and harmony.
I hope that Nature Boy continues to see kingfishers and white squirrels and may I continue to trust that all will be well in the knowledge that I am safe.